Happiness is a choice. It is what you choose to think, about what you think.
Happiness is not based on your initial thoughts. Everyone has good thoughts, and everyone has bad thoughts. It is your response to these thoughts that determine the level and frequency of your happiness.
Nobody is always happy, and nobody is always unhappy, that's not how it works. But it seems people are either happy almost all of the time and unhappy once in a while, or they are unhappy almost all the time and happy once in a while. It's not a fifty-fifty proposition. It's more like ninty-five to five. It's a lifestyle. You are an optimist or you are a pessimist. Though most people don't call themselves pessimists, they call themselves realists, but it's the same thing. They are still focusing on the negative.
To the pessimist, when something good happens, they think that it's an anomaly, that it's a flook. They experience it as something infrequent and unimportant that has little influence and no permanence. To the pessimist, good things are temporary and specific.
When something bad happens, a pessimist thinks that it's the norm. They think, of course bad stuff happens to me, bad stuff always happens to me in so many area of my life. A pessimist sees bad things as generalized and permanent,
To the optimist of course, just the opposite is true. The bad stuff is the anomaly and the good stuff feels right. They think, Of course good stuff happens to me. I'm an good stuff magnet!
Many things bring happiness like gratitude, helping, and giving, and a job well done.
It's important to note that happiness comes from moving toward getting what you want, not from getting it. Many people think, I'll be happy when I get a great job, or I'll be happy when I'm rich, or I'll be happy when I meet the right person. It's just doesn't work like that.
If you decide on what you want, you appoint that as your goal. You are happy moving towards it, and unhappy moving away from it. But if you get it, and you stop there, what you appointed as your goal, you now have to disappoint, and you will be disappointed. It can no longer be what you want, because it's what you've got. It is human nature. Nobody wants what they've already got. Everyone wants what they haven't got. So what you appointed as your goal, if you stop there, will leave you disappointed.
The key is, before you get what you want, decide what you want next, and celebrate the first goal on your way through it. Happiness is the road, not the place, the journey not the destination, so when you get close to getting what you want, make sure you decide what you want next.
In addition to counting your blessings, happiness comes from moving toward getting what you want, and every night we have a dream that takes us to that place just before we get what we most want and leaves us there. This is the most powerful place there is, that place right before we get what we want, and then we drop quickly off into healing sleep.
How we experience our problems is a more significant factor in our happiness than are the specific problems that we experience. Life is not about becoming free of problems, rather it is about becoming a better and better problem solver. Instead of complaining and worrying, we can learn to see our problems as creative opportunities that give us the chance to grow and improve. We can take on our problems as puzzles to be solved, or as challenges to be enthusiastically faced. When we get into stressful beta states, we move into fight or flight syndrome, where the only problem we are prepared to solve is survival. The filter or reticular activating system between the conscious and subconscious minds closes down, denying us access to memory and creativity. By utilizing the alpha state you get in touch with your problem solving capabilities. With the filter open, you can use your imagination to go beyond what you know into all that could be.
Focus brings to bear the power of the conscious mind, and Passion brings to bear the power of the subconscious mind. When the two minds come together in harmony, something magical happens. They create a third mind; a higher consciousness. This is literally a second level of thinking. With Focused Passion, all the power is in the second level of thinking. You get to think about your individual thoughts and feelings, and choose to empower the positive ones, and choose to release the negative ones. In this way you come to enjoy all of your thoughts and all of your feelings. Do this and you will discover that there is a side effect. It is called happiness. Happiness is not about your particular circumstances. Happiness is not about your initial thoughts. Happiness comes from what you think, about what you think.
Here is a simple and powerful technique for creating the state of Focused Passion. Focus comes when you move away from stress, just a little of the way toward sleep. Passion comes when you enjoy what you are doing.
Focus Passion is moving from divided attention (multi-tasking) to paying attention to just one special thing. Do this and you slow down your mind. You move toward stress when you feel endangered. To move into Focused Passion you need to feel safe.
Close your eyes.
Most of the input that comes in through your five senses comes in through your eyes. Close your eyes and you slow down your mind. It's the first thing you do when you want to fall asleep. Focused Passion can be reached with your eyes open, but closing your eyes cuts out many of the potential distractions.
Take a deep breath and imagine that you are in a very safe and peaceful place.
By making this safe place, a place that you love to be, you add passion to your state of focus. When you feel stressed you tighten your muscles and hold your breath. Release your muscle tension and let go of your breath and you will begin to feel safe. Choose this place with your intuition. Let it be the first safe place that comes in to your mind. Imagine that you can see this place, or that you can hear the surrounding sounds. Simply pretend and get the feeling that you are there. If your mind goes off to a different place, just notice this and then bring yourself back to your first place. Always return to this same place each time you wish to re-create this state of Focused Passion.
With Focused Passion you can solve the only two problems that you face. One problem is that you know what you want, but you don't know how to get it, and the only other problem is that you don't know what you want.
When you don't know what you want, you go to your place of Focused Passion and you ask. Then you listen for the answer. This is called meditation, introspection, reflection, or prayer. If you believe in a higher power then you might believe that the answer comes through you. If you don't believe in a higher power then you might believe that the answer comes from you. Either way the process is the same. You ask, and then you listen for the answer.
If you do know what you want, then you tell. You imagine what you do want, as if you already have it, over and over again, with GREAT PASSION! This is called mental programming, visualization, self-hypnosis, or auto-suggestion. It is an application of the amazingly powerful law of attraction.
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